The High Tech Way

Snippets of life with the boys

A month or so ago, every morning James who turned 2 years old at the end of July, came into our bedroom to wake me up by saying: "It's a beautiful day Mommy!" (and it was. And if i were a morning person I would probably appreciate it at 6 am.) When you hear that first thing from your 2 year old, everything else is downhill for the rest of the day...

Jack, who turned 4 years old in June, told me that there is poison ivy in the schoolyard of his preschool. I said "no there's not." He said: "Trust me." (I love the way he  is picking up expressions and idioms. Very cute.)

I told Jack once over the summer that the more legs a bug has, the less I like it. Months later he said to me, "You must really like worms, Mommy, because they don't have any legs at all."

Still on the worms topic, Jack asked me the other day: "How do worms know where they are going if they don't have any eyes." This prompted a discussion about whether worms needed to know where they were going or if any of us did, which to me seemed very Zen, but just annoyed Jack.

Jack knows all the words to American Pie and insists on singing it by himself (we are not allowed to sing along anymore.) Except some of the words in his rendition are slightly different from the original: "And in the streets the children screamed. The lubbers cried and the pullets dreamed. And not a word was smokin."

James, looking at the picture on a $1 bill: "Who is this boy?" (the only response I could muster at 6 am was "George Washington." He got nothing about the whole father of the country thing.)

AND, as Jack was sitting on the potty and James was sitting on my lap on a chair in the bathroom and we were all hanging out together, James says to Jack: "I spy with my little eye...POOP!"  This was funny to both of them about 47 times in a row, until i put them both back to bed.

Milk no more

James stopped nursing on June 1 this year, when he was 22 months old and I'd needed to start taking a new medication that the doctor said was probably ok for breastfeeding, but she couldn't guarantee it (I could hear the practice's seminar on legal issues echoing in her head).

I nursed James that morning, and I didn't know it would be the last one, because I saw the doc and started taking the medication that afternoon.

That evening when he was ready to nurse, I told James it was all gone. I told him we could still snuggle and cuddle and be close, but that the milk was all gone.

And he wanted to see "dat." So I gave him a look at his old friends :)  And he was cool with it. He looked for a few seconds and was done.  He asked for a look every day for the week after that, but didn't ask to nurse. And that was the end of that.

I was a little sad that it was over. Writing about it now, I'm a little sad again. But really the sadness only lasted a week or so. It was time for the change and we were obviously both ready for it. A few weeks later I was happier than I'd been in a long time. And without the ever present oxytocin in my system to inhibit my estrogen production and sex drive, I felt like a new woman.

I admit that I was in no great rush to wean James. I'd felt cheated after Jack wouldn't nurse. And I knew James would be my last baby. So I just wanted to embrace very second of it and not rush anything through.

Five months later, as long-sleeve weather has returned, I realize the boy is obsessed with my naked skin. He makes me pull up my long sleeves so he can nuzzle my arms.

He says: "I want your arm." And then I give it to him and he rubs his face all over it and rests his face there for a while. 

He does the same thing with my belly. He says: "I love your belly." And I tell him: "You are the only one who does." He nuzzles my naked belly, then rests the side of his head against it, and wraps his short arms around me and just stays there for a while. It makes me want to cry. I sometimes think this child loves me more than anyone ever has.

Hungry and tired

James will be six months old on Friday, and we started feeding him solid foods three or four weeks ago.  The boy likes to eat.  On one recent Saturday afternoon when we were visiting my mother, James was having baby oatmeal.  He cried between each bite because I was taking too long to shovel it in. 

In spite of his insatiable appetite, he has a bit of a sensitive tummy.  He spit up much of the oatmeal.  Indeed, each time a fed him the oatmeal he spit up, so we switched him back to the rice cereal.

Although he has an adventurous pallet so far, he is not keen on going to sleep by himself. There have been many nights where I have nursed him to sleep, put him down and cringed as he woke up, looked at me with that cry-baby sad lower lip and started to cry.  So I would pick him up again and repeat.  And so on and so on. 

This didn't always happen. But on the nights when it did I would try to focus on how grateful I was to have this baby here at all.  But on one night before I had to go to New York the next day I had no time for the extended routine.  So that night I put him down and let him cry.  Within a half hour he was asleep and slept much better that night. 

But it is hard to let him cry.  He cries longer than Jack ever did.  And he sounds more heartbroken.  And then there's the part about how he's the last baby I will have. So I still fight with myself over letting him cry or not. 

Milestones

James for the first time rolled over today from back to front while he was at daycare. While I don't have a picture of that, I do have a picture of this -- his first day trying the walker at daycare (don't worry, no stairs in this building). The blurriness indicates the high motion action of the shots (and also that the photos were taken with my crappy cell phone camera)

Also, today my big boy Jack is 2.5 years old.  He keeps asking us: what's this? what's this? and pointing to various objects that he needs to know the names of.  Last night he asked me where the sun went. I said it was on the other side of the world.  He said "What's a world?"

James at 4 months

He had his 4 month appointment today, just five days after his actual 4 month birthday.

He weighed 16 lbs 4.5 oz. (75th percentile)
and it went by too fast to get the numbers but he fell in the 50 percent to75th percentile for height and the 25th  percentile for head circumference. He is a pinhead compared to his brother whose head circumference percentile exceeded his other stats.  James is a bigger boy, though, in general.

Other differences between James and Jack.

Jack rolled over from back to front at just about four months, and was trying to for a while before that. He was chronically pissed off that he was immobile.  Gravity really annoyed him, and he was not afraid to express his extreme frustration. He spent a lot of time either complaining or sulking about it.  Once he started moving, he became a much happier boy.  Jack started crawling and pulling up at six months. I don't think James will be that quick on these things.

James doesn't mind being immobile as long as you smile at him and hold his hand.  So he's not even trying to roll over.  And that's OK.  He's a happy guy who smiles and laughs and chews on his hands.  He is much more laid back and cuddly than his brother.  It's really fitting that we went with the surfing theme in his bedroom.  I can just hear him saying "Dude, what's the rush?"

And it's so interesting to experience their different personalities that are so pronounced even at such a young age.  What fun it is to imagine how they will work together and against each other as they grow older.

Halloween candy

I have eaten all of James's Halloween candy.  This is the only way he's going to get any of it, I figure, and who am I to deprive him on the occasion of his first Halloween. 

Meanwhile, David has taken all our leftover candy to his office.  For some reason he thinks I cannot be trusted with it. 

I am afraid of the weight watchers weigh in this week.

Oxymoron

End-of-maternity-leave updates

Two-month pediatrician appointment
James's 2-month pediatrician appointment revealed the following:

He is now 13 lbs. 11.5 oz
He is 24 inches long
He does not like shots

Also, I cried with Jack after he got his first shots.  This time I was laughing with the nurses in the reception area five minutes after the shots happened.  And James was smiling at them.  What a difference between the first and second babies.

The lost weekend
James is still refusing the bottle, but I have not given it the full effort yet. Note to self: recruit Daddy to help.

The old grind
An email to my boss revealed that although I expected to go back there on Oct. 8, they did not expect me back til Oct. 14.  (My fall back plan in case the trophy wife thing doesn't work out right away.) That does not mean that they plan to pay me for that week, however.  I'm trying to decide which of those two dates to go back.

Too many Reeses
In two weeks back at Weight Watchers I have gained 1.2 lbs.  Really I only followed the program 2/7ths of that time (I am doing the points) so I am not surprised by these dismal results.  But now that James is officially two months old (how long KellyMom recommends you go before starting a "diet"), I am REALLY doing the program.
So far here are my weigh in amounts:
Week 1: 172.6
Week 2: 172.8
Week 3: 173.6
All this and I am a scant 5' 1" tall.
Losing 10 percent would take me to 155. My ultimate goal is to be in the well-toned 115 to 120 range.  Oh what five years of TTC, ART and pregnancy will do to you! Not to mention Mallo Cups, ice cream sandwiches and pistachios.

The daycare answer: I still don't know
We have not decided yet on the corporate-run daycare versus the Montessori.  But I appreciate the input on it.  Right now, however, we are leaning against what everyone suggested.  Really, we don't mean to be contrary.  If the Montessori were as close I don' t think it would be a question.  But maybe I was too liberal about the distance when I said it was just 10 minutes away.  With the other daycare I could zip over there at lunchtime, breastfeed the boy, and then zip back to work.  No such luxury with the Montessori because of the distance. After exclusively pumping with Jack, the idea of BFing James at lunchtime holds great appeal.

Also, we have been living in a pressure cooker for the last year (IVF, layoff, new job, pregnancy, house purchase, cross country move, house sale, major remodel, another new job (David this time), and of course a new baby)  and just in the last few weeks has the level of stress started to go down a little.  My thoughts are to do everything possible to keep the stress levels from going up again.  The Montessori's school year schedule and distance make it a more stressful option for me.  And also, Jack just moved from one class to another.  I hate to make him make another change so soon.

After talking to a few parents at our current daycare, I think I am going to ask the director about the environment in the 2-year-old rooms, however.  Everyone seems to think that it is less nurturing. I wonder if that is by design or if it's an accident.  Also, there are no baby-doll toys in the new classroom.  Again, curious if that is by design or not.   Cause Jack loves the baby-dolls. 

I have not yet given anyone a deposit for James, so really the decision is still up in the air.

Sad at any age
My friend who is pregnant at 43 appears to be having a miscarriage.  She is sad but also a little relieved, having gotten used to her life with two older boys (12 and 9 I think). And she feels guilty about feeling relieved. She had miscarriages in her 30s when she was actually trying to conceive (this last pregnancy was unplanned).  Her condition, I think a clotting disorder, was diagnosed and treated with baby aspirin, hence the two healthy pre-teens who now live at her house.  This miscarriage is more likely related to her age.

My world and welcome to it
David's new job has him leaving for work sometimes at 5 am, sometimes at 6 am.  I must admit, I have no sympathy for him because I am often awake when he leaves.

Zen-challenged
However, I have been doing a lot of reading over at the ZenHabits blog.  He has a post about becoming an early riser.  He also has a new baby.  I'm thinking his wife probably did all the night feedings.  I would like to become an early riser so I would have time in my day to exercise, garden, take a shower, etc., but these days the only one of those I get accomplished is taking a shower.  That usually happens at about 10 pm.  And these days I would have to get up at 3 am to arise before anyone else in my house.

Still, just reading his blog makes me feel less stressed out.  And that feels great, I must say.

Naptime