The High Tech Way

Snippets of life with the boys

A month or so ago, every morning James who turned 2 years old at the end of July, came into our bedroom to wake me up by saying: "It's a beautiful day Mommy!" (and it was. And if i were a morning person I would probably appreciate it at 6 am.) When you hear that first thing from your 2 year old, everything else is downhill for the rest of the day...

Jack, who turned 4 years old in June, told me that there is poison ivy in the schoolyard of his preschool. I said "no there's not." He said: "Trust me." (I love the way he  is picking up expressions and idioms. Very cute.)

I told Jack once over the summer that the more legs a bug has, the less I like it. Months later he said to me, "You must really like worms, Mommy, because they don't have any legs at all."

Still on the worms topic, Jack asked me the other day: "How do worms know where they are going if they don't have any eyes." This prompted a discussion about whether worms needed to know where they were going or if any of us did, which to me seemed very Zen, but just annoyed Jack.

Jack knows all the words to American Pie and insists on singing it by himself (we are not allowed to sing along anymore.) Except some of the words in his rendition are slightly different from the original: "And in the streets the children screamed. The lubbers cried and the pullets dreamed. And not a word was smokin."

James, looking at the picture on a $1 bill: "Who is this boy?" (the only response I could muster at 6 am was "George Washington." He got nothing about the whole father of the country thing.)

AND, as Jack was sitting on the potty and James was sitting on my lap on a chair in the bathroom and we were all hanging out together, James says to Jack: "I spy with my little eye...POOP!"  This was funny to both of them about 47 times in a row, until i put them both back to bed.

Three years old

My little frozen embryo, the only one who survived the thaw, celebrated his third birthday recently.  Somehow the boy managed to score THREE birthday cakes -- an elegant pound cake, a Dora cake, and a rainbow Jello cake.  I told him that when he is 20 he'll probably get 20 cakes.

Three is an exciting birthday.  He knew there would be presents, he knew there would be a cake with candles and everyone would sing.  The party was at Nanna's house, and as he leaped out of the car he proclaimed "It's MY birthday! It's MY birthday! It's MY birthday!" 

This was a happier moment than the other three year old birthday parties we've been to recently where some other kid got all the presents and he crumbled into tears at the end saying "I need a toy!" and breaking my heart.

He is 32 pounds and 36 inches tall.  He seems like a total stringbean to me but of course the doc says he's in the 50th percentile for weight and the 10 to 25th percentile for height.  Say that to his 3T shorts which fall down around his ankles when he walks.  He'll be in the 2Ts for this summer again.

He was very brave for the single shot he got at his three-year-old doctor appointment, mostly because he was so excited about the promised lollipop.  The real pain came later when, after his bath that night, he ran down the hall to his room, his hands inside his froggy towel, and stumbled.  Unable to get his hands out of the towel in time, he broke his fall on the hardwood floor with his forehead, resulting in a huge knot and a panicked mommy who insisted that he sleep with his parents that night so they could keep watch over him.

He is sad this week because he is one of three children in his daycare class that did not move up to the next class.  His best friend moved up without him.  It's because he has yet to consistently muster the confidence to poop in the potty. He's been peeing there for months.  On his birthday he went in there alone, pooped, and came out declaring victory.  This was the first time he'd done it, and he hasn't since then.

So I say to him: "You have a lot of new friends in your class" and he says "I miss my old friends. When I poop in the potty I can be with my old friends in the big kid class."  I just want to make all that happen for him right now.  Again, it breaks my heart to see him sad like this.  But at this point I've done all I can do and so has his teacher.  It's now between the boy and his potty.  I tell him that when he's ready he will do it. It's OK.  And he smiles and gives me a hug.  And I thank the universe for this moment and this amazing child.

The new favorite Maisy

While I still prefer the Maisy Takes a Bath one, Jack has indicated a preference for Maisy at the Fair.  Maybe it's the rides, or the cotton candy which he reports is "sticky" although he's never seen or touched actual cotton candy.  Or maybe it's all the friends that Maisy has in this one.  Whatever it is, it has become the number one request over all other Maisy books.

Merry Christmas

We went to the candlelight Christmas Eve service at my mother-in-law's church.  At the end everybody holds lighted candles and sings Silent Night.  Jack was very excited about having a candle.  And at the point where church members walked down the aisle to light our candle he looked at it quizzically.

He lifted his upturned palms to armpit length in his classic toddler shrug.

"Where's the cake?" he asked.

Milestones

James for the first time rolled over today from back to front while he was at daycare. While I don't have a picture of that, I do have a picture of this -- his first day trying the walker at daycare (don't worry, no stairs in this building). The blurriness indicates the high motion action of the shots (and also that the photos were taken with my crappy cell phone camera)

Also, today my big boy Jack is 2.5 years old.  He keeps asking us: what's this? what's this? and pointing to various objects that he needs to know the names of.  Last night he asked me where the sun went. I said it was on the other side of the world.  He said "What's a world?"

My boys of summer

Jack asked to "hold baby" so here he is holding him.  He was very happy.

And to get Jack to agree to put on his diapers, his dad and I have taken to claiming the diapers are ours.  We say "MINE!" making the diapers so much more desirable, and then put them on our heads.  Jack thinks this is funny.  So Jack has taken to putting his clean diapers on his head too.  I have also, occasionally, put Jack's pajama pants on my head with the empty legs falling around my face like dreadlocks.  It's my RastaMom look.

Big new things this year

1. I started a new job in December, so it was still really new at the beginning of this year.
2. We bought a new house (January), moved across the country (March), and sold our old house(April) (in that order).
3. We had a CVS test to make sure our new IVF pregnancy was with a healthy baby. And it was. (January)
4. We remodeled various rooms of our new house, including the kitchen. (And remodeling is ongoing).
5. We had a baby. (July 25)
6. David got a new job which he starts on September 4.

I find myself frequently having fantasies about having a weekend off from the madness of it all. It has been so long since we had a vacation. Or just a few days away from this insane pace.

David's new job means a big change for me too.  We have both spent the last few years as telecommuters.  Now he is going into an office so I will be working from home all by myself (when I go back to work).  My regular lunch date will be unavailable!  And I will have to find some other way to add structure to my day and to go outside and interact with adults so that I can maintain my mental health.

Small but sweet victories

1. At James's extra doctor appointment (scheduled as a weight check because we'd had such problems with gaining weight in the beginning), it was revealed that he is gaining weight at a slightly faster rate than what they want to see.  This is good news for our nursing progress.  And since Jack and I were ultimately unsuccessful at establishing nursing, this victory today was extra sweet.

2. The nurse practitioner who did the exam took her time with us and answered all my questions.  We just chatted away and it was lovely.

3. One of the questions I asked that same nurse practitioner was: "Is there a drive thru starbucks or dunkin donuts around here?" (The pedi's office is close to our house.)  I asked this because although there is a starbucks very very close by, I have been too lazy for a coffee drink outing that involves loading up the kids, unloading them at the starbucks, buying a drink, loading up the kids again and then unloading them when we get home.  Seems like a lot of trouble for a coffee drink.  But I have so wanted a coffee drink.  The nurse practitioner told me of a nearby place where there was a drive thru starbucks across the street from a drive thru dunkin donuts. I nearly cut the appointment short in my rush to get to that location.

4. Jack took a nap today, ending a lengthy nap strike (oh my god we are all so tired!)  I don't know if this is the beginning of a trend or just a single stroke of happy luck, but I was most grateful.

5. A colleague called me today and we chatted for 20 minutes or so. It made me feel reconnected with the world at a time when my isolation was causing me to question my sanity.

6. I found the inexpensive white noise machine that I'd bought at Target during the summer of 2005.  It helped Jack to sleep back then. And when I turned it on tonight, James slipped into a deep deep sleep that made me wonder if he was the same boy who wakes up every time I try to put him down in his crib. Or anywhere for that matter.  (There are many useful objects and books that I got when Jack was an infant.  Where are they now? Packed up in boxes awaiting the completion of our home offices.  I have not been able to look up anything about developmental stages, nursing (in the Jack Newman book), colic, calming techniques (in the Happiest Baby on the Block book), etc.  At times I have been tempted to buy new copies of each of these very helpful books, but that seems sort of ridiculous...)

7. Because of number 6, I was able to take a shower today before 9:30 pm.  Hallelujah! Dance of Joy!  I am clean!

Toddlerisms

With the ongoing kitchen remodel, we have been eating out much of the time.  This is not easy since we just moved here, know only a few restaurants, and even fewer that Jack likes.  One old standby is Boston Market.  Another is Nick's Pizza place.

But I'd taken Jack to Nick's on Monday night so on Tuesday we were headed to Boston Market for chicken.

"Pizza!" he said, all the way there.

"Chicken," we replied.

"PIZZA!" he said.

Until we got to Boston Market and learned they were already closed for Independence Day, only to reopen on Thursday.

So we said "Pizza!"

and he said "No! Chicken!"

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Thursday morning upon waking he staggered into our bedroom with his "bin" (blanket) and stuffed kitty in hand.

"NO!" he said to us.

We are still trying to figure out what the question was.

How Blues Clues paid off at Jack's family birthday party

Jack's family birthday party was last weekend and held at my mother's house since our new house is still, well, in a shambles. (No kitchen, boxes in the living room awaiting the basement offices to be built so that all the books can be put away, etc.  We both telecommute most of the time so the offices are not a minor thing).

Well, it could not have been a lovelier event.  Jack was in a great mood, and he loves a party. The weather was idyllic. The food was fabulous. And everyone was so happy to be there.

You could not imagine a more appreciative toddler.  And because he has been particularly obsessed with the "We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from. It's from our friends!" part of Blues Clues, he did that with every card he opened.  Yet his enunciation is not so good where anyone else could tell this was what he was doing. They all just thought he was really into cards. This was not a child who dove for the gifts.  No, instead he opened his cards over and over again, acting surprised and delighted each time (and waving a few dollars in the air in the process with a giant grin on his face, as if he knew what they were and how many containers of bubbles they could buy.)

After the gifts my mother brought out the chocolate chip cake she made (I have no oven).  When Jack saw it he started jumping up and down yelling "cake! cake! cake!"  My mother put it on the table (we were out on the patio) and went back inside.  Jack could not understand why someone would just leave a CAKE on the table and not immediately consume it. He kept looking at it and trying to get to it.  Finally my mother came back out.  This time with the Jello Rainbow Cake, which was quite an extraordinary site.

My mom is a bit of a foodie snob.  She didn't think anyone would eat the Jello cake. But really, it was so strikingly beautiful.  And everyone had a piece of it.

We put two candles on the chocolate chip cake and sang happy birthday.  Initially Jack found this intimidating.  But then he warmed up to it and we had to relight the candles and re-sing the song many many times.

The only shadow cast over the day was the loss of the yellow balloon. One moment the string was in Jack's hand and he was happily pulling it down and up. The next moment the balloon was free, headed into the sky. We  all watched it get smaller and smaller until it was a barely visible dot, and it was very sad.   Jack was very distressed.  And there was the lesson of two-hood.  That sometimes things go away and you can't get them back. You just have to let them go.  Hard to do at two and hard to do at 42.

And tonight, nearly a week later, after the boy had a major tantrum at bath time, extending into the pre-bedtime ritual, we were all serious and not enjoying things.  He'd finally calmed down and I was sitting by his bed.  We both sat there quietly for a while with somber expressions.  And then I smiled at him and he smiled back, and all was OK again.  I had trouble leaving him to go to sleep tonight. I kept thinking, this baby won't be my baby for much longer. He'll be the big brother. And that's a little sad in a way, too.  I just want to treasure him and these moments with him in these last few weeks where he's the only one. My baby. My sunshine.  My special special little boy.