The High Tech Way

Breast milk jaundice? Wha?

So when we went in to see the pedi again on Friday, James's weight was up to a strapping 8 lbs. ll.5 oz. , back up to his birth weight.  The pedi was very happy with this.  But the boy was still the shade of Mountain Dew -- an unnatural looking yellow.

The pedi said this was likely due to something called breast milk jaundice.  She did not explain what that was, and uncharacteristically, I did not interrogate her at all.  I don't know why. Maybe the lack of sleep.

She checked all James's reflexes, palpated his liver, etc., to make sure he was not suffering any ill-effects from his prolonged state of yellowness.  He was fine, but the concern over that made me worry, and perhaps that is a reason why I didn't ask questions.

She said the breast milk jaundice would typically go away on its own in a number of weeks or months, but to knock it out in a few days she recommended giving the boy a formula-only diet for 48 hours.  She said I should pump during this time so I would not dry up.  And she scrounged up a weekend's worth of formula from around the office to send home with us so we didn't have to buy any.

A Google search seemed to reveal that breast milk jaundice happens when the baby's system processes a fatty acid in the mother's milk as first priority and the bilirubin as second priority.  So the jaundice takes much longer to clear.  But the condition was not considered as serious as other types of jaundice in the newborn.  Dr. Jack Newman indicates in this article that there really is no need to do the formula thing.  The condition will resolve itself in time.  Of course I didn't read this until after the first formula feeding and after I agreed to the treatment with the pedi.  And I must admit that the yellow hue of our newest family member has been a bit disconcerting, leading to a more urgent sense for David and me to see it resolved sooner rather than later.

Two years ago and change, Jack was a little jaundiced after he was born. I wonder if he had the same thing.  That is what got him started on the path to a bottle preference and me on a path to exclusive pumping, I am convinced.

I was a little worried about that when introducing the formula to James on Friday afternoon.  And it seemed to me that he was eating more than I was pumping, so he would be hungry and frustrated with the breast when the 48 hours was over.  And he is a little annoyed having to work for his meals again and having them delivered more slowly, since we returned to the breast yesterday afternoon.  But he is passionate about eating, wherever it comes from (very unlike his big brother).  And so he has come back to the breast -- sans nipple shield -- seemingly without a problem.  The only issue is the supply issue. Over 48 hours he got used to getting a little more than he'd been getting on the breast, and so we are doing lots of cluster feeding.  And, also I have cheated a little and given him some of what I pumped over the weekend instead of forcing the supply and demand thing all at once.
I must remember to be very careful with this.

And, the formula treatment seems to have worked.  James is now a healthy color.  We are headed to the doc's in a little while for their final stamp of approval.  And I hope we are finished for a little while with them.

*********

On an entirely unrelated issue, have you seen the letter posted by Overstock.com's CEO?  (He'll give you a free coupon if you read it.)  He is alleging wide corruption at high levels of Wall Street and the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) that has the potential to destroy the U.S. financial systems in much the same way that happened in 1929 when the stock market crashed triggering the Great Depression.  I haven't looked at any of his supporting info yet, but just find it so interesting that he is using his commercial web site to promote what looks like a non-partisan issue, and that he is accusing many members of the mainstream press of ignoring his pleas to look into the issue, until recently.  If he is right it is maybe an indication of how big corporations have emasculated the press to the point where it can no longer be relied upon as an independent voice.  This is certainly where independent bloggers can have an advantage over today's mainstream press.

James the Jaundiced

The tremendously good news is that James is here and is now two weeks old plus one day and is actually breastfeeding. He has had no formula, and until yesterday had not had any bottles.

The distressing news for the parent of a newborn is that he is still jaundiced (although not getting worse) and as of yesterday, his two-week birthday, had not regained enough weight to reach his birth weight. Yesterday he weighed in at 8 lb 5 oz.  At birth he was 8 lb 11 oz.  When released from the hospital on July 29 he weighed in at 7 lb. 13 oz., his low number.

So yesterday afternoon he got his heel poked again and milked for a tiny blood sample which revealed the continuing jaundice number (although he still looks fake tan to me).  His poor little heel was just finally healing from the thousands of pokes he got in the hospital.  He wailed during the test, peed on the exam table and leaked through his onesie.  And crappy mom that I am I did not have a change of clothes in the diaper bag for him. (duh).  So I stuffed an extra diaper into his wet outfit so to protect his skin from the wet area, and we went on our way.

My instructions are to pump after he feeds at the breast, and then feed him whatever I get.  Now, I am such a newbie at breastfeeding, but I am a queen of pumping.  Here is something I know how to do!  So I've been pumping and am somewhat reassured that my supply looks adequate so far, in spite of the fact that I am still using a nipple shield.

First time I pumped after feeding I got a total of 1.5 oz.   The next few pumpings I got barely a quarter oz.  total.  But the overnight pump got quite a bit more (too sleep deprived over here to remember how much) and the morning pumping yielded 2. 5 oz -- after the boy fed!  One pump session since then yielded about 1.5 oz.  These are pretty good yields for a post-feed pump session.  And I believe infants this age drink only a few oz per feed.

Meanwhile I've decided to make an effort to include (I forget the word for foods that help increase milk supply, and too tired to look it up) in my diet. So far non-alcoholic beer and oatmeal.  Funny how now I am craving produce and oats whereas while pregnant I craved protein.

Friday we are headed back to the pedi for a weight check. 

Breastfeeding, jaundice, and the LC du jour

Birth story still to come, but wanted to update to today.

We finally busted out of the hospital on Sunday.  We were delayed by a day due to jaundiced James who looked like he'd gotten a hold of some of that fake tan spray and used it liberally while I was passed out on percocet in the bed next to his bassinet.

I got the OK to go home on Saturday (if I promised to go to the office to get my staples removed this week) but James held us up.  He was still having the meconium poo.  And his numbers were up for jaundice to 15.7.  They put him under double lights far away from me in the nursery.

Now by Saturday I was losing my mind being confined to that hospital room. I. WAS. SO. BORED. No Internet, except on my web phone with its tiny screen.  No books (cause I brought them last time and didn't read a thing). Crappy summer TV.  Not so many visitors because everyone was sort of visiting each other instead.  And when they took James out to get his ultraviolet suntan, it got even more boring.

Meanwhile, each new nurse and lactation consultant was giving me different and conflicting advice about how to establish nursing, how to get the new guy to latch, etc.  Reminded me of the nurses and lactation consultants in California.  By Friday night I was engorged and not much was flowing.  I fed the kiddo and pumped and pumped.  James got circumcised during a thunderstorm.  I prayed that the doc would not be cutting when the big clap of thunder came. (all went well.)

I alternated ice packs and warm towels on the boobs after doing a Google search Saturday night on my tiny screened web phone.  And I pumped some more on Saturday, in between when they brought James in for feedings.  I supplemented what he pulled out with what I'd pumped, fed to him through a syringe.

They said they would send us home on Sunday with a Wallaby, which is like an ultraviolet light blanket.  They said visiting nurses would come and check on him twice a day.  But by the time he took his final blood test (he has many many many pokes in the heels of his feet), his numbers had dropped enough that they sent him home without all that equipment -- satisfied with just my promise to bring him in for more blood work at 7:30 on Monday morning.

He continues to improve. His weight is starting to go up instead of down.  His blood test numbers are not getting any worse.  And his poop is finally a color that reassures pediatricians.

I am healing very well too. Staples came out Sunday, since I was still at the hospital.  A med student took them out.  The same med student who a day early had mistaken the tape mark from my incision dressing for a previous c-section scar.  But he was a good staple remover.

Overall my hospital experience was very positive. I actually liked this place better than the one in California, and I have more respect for my doctors now that I have spent so much more time with them.

Still, after spending what seemed like 47 days in a sensory deprivation cell, it is not an understatement to say I was elated to feel the oppressive humidity and heat of the outside air again.  And listen to the bickering of my husband and mother-in-law who may have spent a little too much time together during this last week. 

It is good to be home.

The behind the scenes story

Thank you, thank you, thank you all, for all the support. It's good to know that I'm not being hysterical or crazy and that it is reasonable for me to be upset about these things.  I dropped my letter off at the doc's office when I went in for Monday's NST. I am still waiting to hear back.

When I went to the hospital for my NST last Friday afternoon I was still so upset about my scheduling problems from my regular OB exam appointment two hours before.  So much so that I confided in the nurse who was doing my test. 

I was in one of those states where I couldn't smile -- something that is unusual for me except when I'm really upset.  So I guess I was trying to explain to the nurse why I was so unfriendly.  I told her about my recent scheduling problems at the OB practice and about some of the other problems I'd had there that I mentioned in that letter. 

She was very sympathetic, and that made me feel better.  You see, when I've expressed surprise or dismay to the person at the front desk when they've told me they have no appointments for me, they look at me blankly as if they don't understand why this is upsetting.   If I felt someone understood and was working for my cause it would be less upsetting. But no one seems to get it.

Anyway, the nurse told me that the big problems at my practice started at the beginning of May when another OB practice disbanded and two of those doctors joined the practice I've been going to. One of those doctors was extremely well liked by patients and hundreds of them followed him to my new practice.   Apparently more followed him than the practice could reasonably accommodate. The nurse said that I was not the first person to express frustration with scheduling problems and communications problems at the practice.

She said that they lead doctor/partner in the practice had been receptive to hearing about the complaints. After all, the reputation of his practice was at stake.  That's what made me decide it was worth it to send the letter (and not just write it as a way of documenting the problems while at the same time venting my anger).

The nurse at the hospital also gave me a list of other doctors who she said were good.  As far as recommendations go I think that the nurse at the hospital's prenatal testing center is a good person to go to to get this kind of info.  (The current practice having been recommended by the agent who sold us the new house. Her daughter went to this practice.)

So I'm going to give the lead doc at the current practice a few days to respond, then I will call these other OB practices -- there are two, and both are half the size of the current practice -- and see if I can get a sense for how they would be.  You know, I'm looking for someone who cares.

Meanwhile, when I went into the doctor's office for my NST on Monday I also voiced my distress to the nurse who performed the test.  She recommended asking the front desk again about appointments with Dr. P and during the week of July 4.  She said I should try to be nice to them. (And, shit, I'm usually really nice.  But I've worn out nice, in this case, and am at the point where I feel like I shouldn't have to kiss up to anyone to get what is considered the standard of medical care.)

But niceness or "no nice" (as Jack now says) aside, I did ask the front desk about these appointments, and I actually GOT an appointment the week of July 4.  The week after that I got an appointment with Dr. P.  Now, granted, the appointment with Dr. P is 40 minutes away.  But, hell, it's an appointment, and the only one I will have with her before my c-section.   That is, if I don't get my current fondest wish of having NEW GUY delivered by a toll taker on the PA turnpike instead.  (So tired of all the jumping through hoops. I bet the turnpike toll taker wouldn't even charge me the toll... or take a photocopy of my insurance card...)

Letter to the lead partner at my current OB practice

Dear Dr. M,

 

I’m writing to inform you of how frustrated and disappointed I’ve been as a patient at your practice. I am 35.5 weeks pregnant and am seriously thinking about changing practices.

 

Here’s why:

 

1. I      started with the practice mid-pregnancy after moving here from

   California

   . When I started with the practice the      nurse told me I had plenty of time to see every doctor before delivery so      I would be familiar with whoever ended up performing the delivery. This has not happened. Indeed, every time      someone at the front desk looks to schedule me, she asks me “How about Dr. R?” I always ask to see someone      else so that I can meet everyone. But that has not been possible. I’ve seen Dr. R twice now and am scheduled to see him a third      time. (and almost a fourth time,      but I opted to see the nurse practitioner instead.) Meanwhile there are at least four      doctors who I have yet to see, and will not have time to see before my      delivery date.
2. Your      surgery scheduler phoned me to schedule my c-section about a week after      the doctor said she would call. I      was not at my phone when she called. So I phoned back and her voice mail said she would get back to me      in 3 to 4 business days. (compared to same day or next day if after

   4 pm

   for my old

   OB

        practice in

   California

   ). And she did indeed take that long to      call me back, and I again missed her call. This went on for a few weeks. The next time I went into the office I learned she’d actually      scheduled me WITHOUT ACTUALLY EVER SPEAKING WITH ME IN REAL TIME. I never got to talk to her about who was      on duty on the day I wanted. I      never got to talk to her at all. 
3. I am      scheduled for a c-section with Dr. P on July 25, a date I am      happy with because it is the birth date of my late sister in law. When this finally got scheduled the      nurse said I should schedule the rest of my appointments with Dr.      P. But when I got to the front      desk I’d already had appointments scheduled for the next few weeks so they      didn’t want to change them. Today      when I went to schedule appointments with Dr. P I learned she is on      vacation for the next two weeks. (They must not have known that when they      told me I couldn’t schedule with her before?) In fact, she doesn’t have any      appointments available at all before my c-section. I cannot believe that your practice is      not allowing me to see the doctor who will perform major abdominal surgery      on me even one time before the surgery is scheduled.
4. When I      was trying to schedule my c-section I called your office maybe 10 times in      a single day and NEVER GOT THROUGH. It was a busy signal all day long so I      couldn’t even leave a message on voice mail. When someone finally answered it was the      answering service after your office had closed. She said she couldn’t take a message      unless it was an emergency. She      could not help me at all. I could not get to voice mail and I could not      leave a message elsewhere. Which      is ironic because the nurses at the hospital who have been doing this      week’s NSTs for me (because the local office was too busy to do      them since so many people were on vacation [at least that’s what the front      desk people said while trying to schedule them]) said I should phone my      doctor right away if I stop feeling the baby move. If I can’t get through, what good does      that do?
5. I’ve      had one NST at your office. I waited in the waiting area for a half hour      because the front desk didn’t tell the nurse I was there. (the nurse was      very apologetic). We were both      waiting for each other, but apparently no one conveyed the message.
6. Today      Dr. M told me I needed to start coming every week. However, you only had one appointment      for next week available – and guess who it’s with? Dr. Ruiz. But that’s better than the following      week because YOU HAVE NO APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE FOR ME. So medical standards say you need to see      me every week but you don’t have time for me, even though I tried to      schedule a few weeks in advance. So since it will be too long between appointments the front desk      offered me a Monday appointment for the following week with, guess      who? Dr. R. (nothing against Dr.      R. He seems nice. He also seems      like the least experienced doctor on staff, according to the biographies      I’ve seen. I am 42 years old and      this is an IVF pregnancy. I don’t      want to mess around here. I’m      supposed to be seeing the other doctors, according to your practice’s      custom.)

 

These are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. I’m sure if I went back over my notes, I’d have more to tell you about.

You know, the nurse at the hospital who did my NST asked me if I really wanted to switch practices so late in the pregnancy. But what difference does it make? If anyone from your practice except Dr. R saw me on the street they wouldn’t even recognize me. I feel utterly unimportant and certainly very much less important than all the people who have somehow managed to schedule appointments with the rest of the doctors who work at the practice. 

Please tell me why I should not change practices and why I should not tell everyone I know about my horrible experience at yours.

Sincerely,

Jessica

 

 

 

A tale of two non-stress tests (and what UA means)

So my first non-stress test last Friday actually was a little stressful for me, as previously mentioned.  The office was disorganized, the nurse couldn't explain what the UA reading was all about, and they couldn't schedule me back into the office again right away, so I was stuck going to the hospital for my second test today.

I was dreading the hospital test but it actually turned out to be a much more pleasant experience than Friday's. They were organized, the facilities were new and nice.  The staff and the other pregnant women were really friendly and kind.  And the nurse who did the test knew what the UA reading was all about.

She said that they could do the non-stress test -- which just measures the baby's heart accelerations and decelerations -- without the UA reading.  The UA reading was indeed a measure of uterine activity (thank you Avi).  It measures contractions, but not very well.

For example, if the baby kicked at the particular spot where the monitor was sitting it would register as a big contraction. Or it might register my breathing as a contraction. Or if I moved in between contractions it would measure the first and second one very differently.  Very skinny women tend to have readings that are off the scales while those of us who maybe have had a few too many cupcakes recently might not see such a strong reading.

In other words, the UA reading is all relative. 

I preferred the hospital testing, too, because they worked off a baseline heart reading rather than requiring the baby's heart-rate to go up to 170 to count as an acceleration.

Separately, just seeing the hospital's new wing made me feel much better about delivering in an unfamiliar place.  It felt good there.

Non-stress test

Here's what my non-stress test was like:

I was put in a blue/green vinyl "chair" that had a foot rest that went up and a back that reclined when the nurse hit the foot pedals.   I did not have to disrobe.  I just pulled up my shirt and the nurse put two belts around my abdomen, each with a monitor on it. One monitored the baby's heartbeat. The other monitored UA (which after a few Google searches I'm guessing is an acroynm for Uterine Artery).

There were a couple LED displays on the monitor, one with a heart rate read out and the other for the UA.  The UA seemed to only go up to 10.

Besides these LED displays, the machine spit out a printed display like a stock ticker with a single line spiking up and down depending on activity. Actually there were two lines -- one for the fetal heartrate and the other for the UA.

The nurse also gave me a little handheld thingie with a button on it and told me to press the button each time the baby moved.  My button pressing showed up on the printed read out as little arrows.

The goal was to see spikes of fetal heart rate that went to 160 beats per minute (at least) and then went back down again.  They wanted this to happen three times.

If the baby was not cooperating, we would coerce him into doing so by talking to him, poking at him, etc.

This whole thing didn't take very long.  Maybe 20 minutes tops.

If this test ever detects that there is a problem they would send the patient to the hospital for an ultrasound to make sure things are ok.

Next test is Tuesday at the hospital.  They were super nice over there when I set up the appointment.

Blink, NSTs, and scheduling medical tests in Pennsylvania

In one of the chapters Blink (by the guy who also wrote The Tipping Point), author Malcolm Gladwell talks about doctors who get sued and why they get sued.  But the conclusion Gladwell comes to is unexpected. Doctors don’t get sued for medical mistakes. They get sued because they don’t treat their patients with respect.  Patients feel shuffled around. They feel they are not being listened to or taken seriously.  And on the flip side, the doctors who listened to patients and respected patients in that way were less likely to get sued even if they screwed up in other ways.

Gladwell cites one patient’s desire to sue a particular doctor who she viewed as callous and obnoxious, and not sue another doctor who had listened to the patient and acted in a caring way but who was the one who had screwed up. 

I thought about all this today as I sat in the waiting room for a half hour at my doctor’s office. I was there for my first NST (non-stress test).  Due to my “advanced maternal age” I am supposed to go there twice a week for these tests.  And as I sat there and waited for a half hour I started to get annoyed.  I eventually got up to use the restroom and as I walked back there I heard one of the office staff tell the NST nurse that her first NST had been waiting for 15 to 20 minutes (actually a half hour).  The nurse said “Oh no! No one told me!”  I raised my hand and said that the person was me.  The nurse was very apologetic.

Once in the procedure room, my level of annoyance began to recede. Our new guy is very active, so the test itself did not take very long.

I asked the nurse what the UA read out was, and she said it measured the uterus.  I asked, “what about the uterus does it measure” and she offered some non-answers (appropriate for a non-stress test I suppose) but it seemed like she didn’t really know what it measured.

And that is fine too. I will ask the doc when I see him/her next week.

But then it was time for me to go back out to the desk and schedule two NSTs for next week.

Well, their NST schedule was already full.  The woman who was trying to schedule it called over one of the half dozen people who worked in the front office.  The woman she’d called over said: “I’m leaving now.”  The woman trying to schedule the appointment said: “I thought you weren’t leaving until 11:30,” to which the other woman replied: “I said when I’m done my work.”

(This was interesting because last week when I was waiting in the exam room for the doc to come in, I overheard him talking to a staff member about managing staff. He was telling her that some people would go the extra mile but others acted as if it was a giant imposition if you asked them to do anything extra. 

You know what? Conversations like that just did not happen in Silicon Valley. A completely different culture here to there)

So the woman trying to schedule my appointment called to someone else who looked like she might be some kind of office administrator.  The woman she’d called to replied: “I’m having a conversation with someone else right now.”

It was clear that the woman trying to schedule the appointment was herself getting annoyed at the lack of help she was getting from her coworkers.  She did the big eye movements from the woman to me to indicate, hey, I have a patient here now and I need your help.

So the administrator came over.  She verbally listed the many people who were on vacation next week – the reason why there were no NST appointments available, apparently. She asked me why I needed the NST anyway. I told her “I am 42.”  She said “well maybe you will go into labor and you won’t need the appointments anyway.”   But meanwhile, she told the appointment-setting woman, send her to the hospital to get them.  She said I could keep going to the hospital for them.

She said, maybe those will be the last ones you will need because you will go into labor. Only at that point she actually asked me how far along I was. I told her 34 weeks and then she said, “oh, well you will probably need to keep doing them for a while then.”

I told her I would prefer to keep coming to this office because it is so much closer and it doesn’t charge for parking.

So here’s my thing.  If these had been isolated experiences, no. big. deal. But I’ve noticed a pattern in this practice of a disorganized and inefficient office staff.  Once you get back to see the doc you are normally fine.  But I have been left hanging by the administrative people on more than one occasion. (no real time conversations with the surgery scheduler, inability to schedule needed tests due to too many staff vacations scheduled at the same time, etc.). 

Or, if these folks had taken the time to say: “sorry for the inconvenience but…” or in the case of the surgery scheduler if she’d just made an effort to actually speak to me.  When you are inconvenienced it means a lot of someone acknowledges that you are a human who should be treated better.

This is the kind of thing that annoys people. This is the kind of thing that makes patients feel like a number and like they are not being listened to.

And all this makes me wonder if these kinds of inefficiencies are why Pennsylvania’s malpractice rates are so high (malpractice rate increases naturally following higher than normal rates of lawsuits).

If you follow the logic of Blink, people don’t sue because of medical errors.  People sue because they feel as if they were not listened to, because they feel as if they were not respected.

I felt that way with the surgery scheduler, even though that was eventually resolved. And I felt that way with the office staff today. I felt as if I was a pain in their ass.  I did not leave with a good feeling about the practice.

The malpractice rates are apparently so high in Pennsylvania now that doctors are leaving the state and OB practices are shutting down. No one wants to practice here.  And as that happens, how does that bode for the overall situation? With even fewer people to listen and spend time with patients, will the lawsuits go down or up? Blink says they will go up. 

How bad does it have to get before someone tries to fix it?

Gestational diabetes tests, traveling again and how the tv networks are out to get me

(wrote this on Thursday night, May 17)

On April 30 I took my one hour gestational diabetes test.  On May 3 I found out I failed this test. The acceptable range is below 140 and I got 147.  This seemed familiar to me. I think last time while pregnant with Jack I failed with 143 or 147 or something close to that.

The one hour test is pretty simple. You go to the lab, drink the horrible sugar drink and an hour later get your blood drawn.

If you fail the one hour test you have to take what they call the "three hour" test.  This test sucks much more.  You go to the lab and get your fasting blood drawn.  Then you drink a more horrible more sugary drink.  Then you get your blood drawn three more times, once an hour for three hours. 

I took this test on Monday, May 14. I would have expected to get the results of this test back today, but I have been in the Boston area all day at a conference. I woke up at 4 am to do the day trip here -- got a 6:30 am flight. And now it's nearly 8 pm and I'm stuck here awaiting my delayed flight back home.  For a while after I arrived here this morning at 7:44 am I was asking myself over and over "what am I doing here?" 

It would be good if this were indeed my last trip until after I come back from maternity leave. This is getting too hard. Besides, I finished both that Tipping Point book and that Blink book. I am still feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of dipping into a novel.

I am thinking about calling in LATE tomorrow.

In the last two weeks I have been to Salt Lake City, Miami and now Boston.  I was a little nervous about going to Miami.  David likes to watch COPS! and so many episodes take place in Broward County.  Also, there is CSI Miami.  It just seems to be a good place to go if you want to get murdered in an overly dramatic way.

And speaking of TV, I am very annoyed at the networks this year.  First they put on a new series called The Nine about nine people who had witnessed a bank robbery/hostage standoff and their secrets about what happened during the event are revealed during the course of the season.  Or they would have been.  They showed just enough episodes for me to get into it and then they freaking canceled it.  Very very annoying. 

Then they started another new series, Daybreak.  This was like 24 meets Groundhog day.  And it was actually really really good.  The extremely handsome and sexy cop is framed for murder and tries to figure out what the hell is going on.  But each day he wakes up and it's the same day.  But he can use what he learned during the previous day (which was the same day) to learn more during this new same day.  But THEY CANCELED IT!  They are streaming episodes online, but you can't download them.  You have to watch them on your PC.  Very very annoying.

And then they premiered a new show called Drive about a secret car race around the country with life and death stakes.  And I said to David, "they'd better not fuck with me again on this one."  It only took them two or three episodes to cancel this one, which is better I think, because I didn't get THAT into it.

How infertility and pregnancy loss stimulates your brain

I was so blown away and flattered when Antropologa awarded me the Thinking Bloggers Award last month.

And and I've been hard pressed trying to figure out who to award it to next. It has been around to so many people who totally deserve it already, and there are so many others in the blogging community who deserve to be recognized for the insightful, thought-provoking and honest words they grace us with on a regular basis.

But I've got to say that I've been thinking a lot lately about those of us who have struggled with infertility and have used the internet community and the wealth of information available on the internet as a tool for education and teaching each other.  We learn what questions to ask the doctors, what treatments to ask about, and when we are being bullshitted. We know when we are being condescended to. We have taken this community and turned it into a tool for personal empowerment when dealing with the medical community.

So I'd like to present this award to Aurelia who is struggling through another round of thyroid testing after being jerked around the system.  She knows that things are not right, and she keeps going in spite of doctors just patting her on the head.   AND she also takes her message about infertility and pregnancy loss to the politicos where she is.  She is really a hero.  And so I'm happy to have the opportunity to give this award to her.