The daycare dilemma

On Jack's first day of daycare I sat on the little bench of the infant's classroom and cried for a half hour before I could leave him there.  I was about to leave my long-awaited IVF/FET baby with a bunch of strangers so I could go back to work.  I had no idea how it would turn out.

Many months later it was obvious to me that it was a good thing that he was in such a very good place.  The daycare Jack went to in Silicon Valley was a family-run Montessori.  I did not know what that was on that first day I left Jack there.  But it turned out to be very good for Jack. Montessori is "A method of educating young children that stresses development of a child's own initiative and natural abilities, especially through practical play."

One of the hardest things about moving to the Philly area has been the fact that we had to leave his old daycare behind.  He loved it there and he even had a best friend there.  Education is important to us, and is actually one of the primary drivers behind our move.  At GreatSchools.org the elementary school in our old neighborhood was rated 3 out of 10.  In our new neighborhood the elementary school wins a 10 out of 10 rating. 

So it was very hard to go from the good Montessori preschool to first a crappy family run daycare center and then to a much better (but still nowhere near as good as what we left) corporate-run daycare.

When the current daycare was acquired this summer, we knew that higher rates were around the corner.  They were announced in August.  And with another little boy headed to daycare soon, the raise in rates was really going to hurt.  So I took advantage of the opportunity of having my days "free" (being on maternity leave and not chained to my desk) to look into some other daycare programs.

Now, while there is another Montessori school in our neighborhood, it does not take infants and the tuition for a standard school day of 9 to 3 is more than what we were paying for the extended day daycare in California. 

But, I found another Montessori school closer to the city and about mid-way between where we live and where my mother lives in Philadelphia. This school takes infants.  It is very racially mixed, which is a huge plus.  The director is an energetic, enthusiastic businesswoman who took over running the place five years ago after spending a career (until she turned 40) in management and process re-engineering in corporate and municipal environments.  But she sent her two boys through  a Montessori school.  Over the last five years she's turned this Montessori school around after it had declined due to the founder's ill health. 

The short version is: I was very impressed with this place.  And now I have a decision to make.

Benefits of corporate childcare center:
Closer to where we live
Open nearly every day of the year (not closed for snow, spring break, etc.)
Provides diapers
Provides two snacks a day PLUS lunch
Welcomes breastfeeding moms to come at lunch to nurse
Jack is already acclimated to it

Downsides to the corporate childcare center:
Not as educationally focused
Teachers not required to have any kind of degree
infant to teacher ratios are higher
Jack's new teacher seems cranky to me
Costs about $120 more a month for tuition for both Jack and James than the Montessori would

Benefits of the Montessori:
Follows the Montessori educational philosophy which was great for Jack before
Offers enrichment programs such as Music and Spanish language
Is a non-profit organization
Has a very active parent organization
Closer to Nana's house
Has a summer program that includes swimming lessons, bringing petting zoos to the school, bringing pony rides to the school -basically lots of fun fun stuff.

Downsides of the Montessori:
Farther way (takes about 11 minutes without traffic)
We must provide our own diaper$
Must pack and bring our own lunches everyday$
These things take up time, and I'm exhausted  NOW.  How will it be with all these extra things?

I asked the director how they acclimate new kids to the classroom. She said they sit with them throughout the day to make sure they feel nurtured.  She used the word nurtured a lot, and that made me feel good.  I felt like Jack would not slip through the cracks there.  At the corporate center I have sometimes felt like he was one of a crowd.

At the corporate center Jack's new teacher seems primarily focused on behavior.  She reports every day to me on how he was well behaved. But she doesn't tell me what he does or whether he's had fun.  These things are very important to me.

Also at the new place, potty training happens at the child's own pace and no one is forced to commence training  immediately after extinguishing the candles from his birthday cake when he turns two.

Basically the corporate place offers convenience and is adequate.  The Montessori is going to be more of a pain to get to and require me to do more work (making lunches, making sure diapers are stocked), but it has better programs.

Factoring the cost of diapers, etc., the two programs probably cost about the same.

But on the Montessori I am just the tiniest bit nervous about it's future because the founder died a year ago.  Her family has kept it going, and they are absentee owners, relying completely on the current director to run the show.  But what if they want to cash out at some point?

(I think that's what happened to the evil daycare.  The owner retired and sold it to her daughter-in-law who was not well-suited to run it.)

What should I do?

Comments

[Eva]

Oh, man, I don't know what you should do. Arranging childcare is so fraught. I personally would probably go with the Montessori school. The whole making-your-own food thing kind of sucks, though. (At the in-home day care we use they provide the food and we provide the diapers.)

But the environment sounds better at the Montessori. But then the other place sounds more stable. Um. Maybe you can talk to some of the other parents at the Montessori school? To me the biggest downside of the corporate place is that the teachers don't sound as good. Who cares about behavior? Goodness, I never ask about that. I want to know what she did, who she played with, did she eat well, etc. She doesn't sound interested in him as an individual.

This stuff is so hard to sort out. I'm not sure. But definitely the two boys should be at the same place. And why can't you go nurse at the Montessori? Too far away?

As far as doing the extra things, you will get into a rhythm. And things will get easier. But yeah, the food thing kind of sucks.

[Aurelia]

Well um, 11 minutes away is really really close in my mind, but traffic is a horrendous nightmare here so I guess I have to keep it in perspective.

Anyway, it seems like you can switch pretty easy around there. So why not try it? And if it turns out it doesn't work, then it just doesn't work.

The diapers are easy enough, just bring a full box once a week, and bring another giant box when it's empty. The lunch and snacks are a pain, but again, once you get into the routine it will be okay. It's getting it set up so you can do it quickly that is a problem.

[maggie]

If the Montessori is really a non-profit, then it isn't owned by anyone...so there aren't "absentee owners". And if it is a non-profit, its books are open to the public and there's ways of checking on it's history and finances (without asking them). Email me if you want guidance on that.

Assuming the Montessori is a going concern, I'd go with that. The lunch/snack is a pain, the diapers aren't so much (they'll remind you, you just bring another big pack in). Because overall, what I hear from you is that the vibe there is better - and you should go with that.

[coll]

I have both my children in a Montessori program. my 4 year old has been going for 2 years and is THRIVING! My 16 month old just started and is happy and engaged. Hands down...Montessori seems to be the way to go. Some things are worth the commute. The issue of packing a lunch....at least you know what they are eating and being served. Our Montessori actaully requires "cloth diapers", so you bring in a supply of 5-10 diapers and they launder them at the school. Try MOntessori, I don't think you will be dissappointed.