It has been a long time since I've had to rely on dial-up internet connectivity, and let me just say it really sucks. It has been excruciating, as you can tell by my lack of blog entries. Days at a time passed by without me turning on my computer. After a few days I found it faster to connect to many things from my cell phone, but I could not connect to everything. I could not use my favorite blog reader. I could not look at this email account. So I am so behind on what is going on.
How strange that 2006 is coming to a close. It went by very quickly for me, but January seems like an eternity ago. Back then I was still exclusively pumping for Jack and was not ready to slow down.
The other day I was sitting in the living room with my mother, her husband and David. And I asked what their big accomplishments were for 2006. I asked this because I think at this time of year I tend to focus on what I still need to accomplish without basking in the glory of my achievements. And it can be kind of a self esteem builder to list those achievements -- self esteem that is useful when making new goals for the new year again.
I don't have a full list because we've been so busy (and also so sick with horrible colds, and so sleep deprived from all sleeping in the same room) but here are my big ticket items.
1. Exclusively pumped (breastmilk, because he would not nurse) for Jack for six months and pumped for him for a total of 10 months.
2. By the end of the year, excelled at work, surpassing my colleagues in number of bylines and number of sources in stories.
3. Began a job search relying only on previous networking, asked for the the things I wanted (telecommuting, being able to take the job with me to the east coast when I moved), and was offered such a job by the end of the year. I started there at the beginning of December.
4. Planned (emotionally, financially and so as not to interfere with other events) another IVF. Did the cycle, which has so far been successful (I am 10.5 weeks pregnant -- I think everything is still OK in there. No more morning sickness, but bigger and sorer boobs.)
5. Lost 20 pounds on Weight Watchers in the first six months of the year and started exercising again. Got to my pre-IVF weight. (The pre-trying-to-conceive weight is still far away. We will have to wait for another year to get there again.)
6. Started reading blogs, and started writing this blog. I started it for a few reasons. First, I wanted to write something different than the news stuff I write on a day-to-day basis -- to find my own style or voice that wasn't dictated by my profession's style. Second, I wanted to write something close to every day. And third, I wanted to share my IVF experiences and beyond (exclusive pumping) in the hopes that they might help someone who comes after me here. So far it has been an amazing experience in more ways than I had imagined.
These were some of my biggest accomplishments for the year, and I am kind of amazed that I've been able to pull them off.
Now, there were many other goals -- the kind I make every year and make incremental progress on every year, but never a dramatic change. The top one of these every year is to become more organized -- have a neater, cleaner house; be prepared for birthdays and holidays well in advance; cook healthy, yummy meals with some stocked in the freezer for when we don't feel like cooking; have all the clothes in my closet ready to wear; get rid of the piles of stuff to-be-done, etc.
I always make tiny strides in these things. I am way better than I was 20 years ago. But I'm no Martha Stewart. In fact, ever since I saw that first Martha Stewart special on PBS so many years ago, 15? 20? more than that? I have despised the woman. I can't even get to 1 percent of what Martha does so watching her has only made me feel inadequate. I have steadfastly avoided her -- boycotted her TV shows, her books, her magazines and even scowled when anyone mentioned her.
Indeed, I was not upset when she was convicted and sent to prison. Although at that point I did start to feel sorry for her.
But a month or two ago I had a thought. That was that rather than resist Martha Stewart and her perfect ways, I should try to embrace my own inner Martha Stewart. That doesn't mean I will try to emulate or become Martha. No. Instead I will just not resist Martha-like impulses within me.
I told David about my Martha Stewart 2007 goal. He said, "Why Martha Stewart? Why don't you try to embrace your inner Cindy Crawford instead?"
(Thus, these are certainly not my most serious resolutions, and I will not feel deeply ashamed if I do not accomplish them to the fullest, but my first two are: 1. Embrace my inner Martha; 2. Embrace my outer Cindy.)
Happy New Year everyone.
Hey, very good resolutions. And very good summing of your goals. I'm proud of you!
Posted by: Aurelia | January 01, 2007 at 03:05 PM