Working mom's lament. There is no end to the schedule. Someone is always sick, or in a crisis, or needing a snack, or needing a spreadsheet and recommendations. Or maybe there's an amazing scoop story that must be covered (if you are a journalist like I am).
This summer was worse. I made sure everyone else was having a good time. Jack in YMCA sports camp. James in a new day camp with hopes it would help with his behavioral problems at preschool (which it did). No worries that the locations were in opposite directions from our house because that's what moms do.
Two business trips for me, one for the husband. A family reunion/memorial for my dad 9 hours away by car. A trip to visit husband's family in California. By the end of the summer -- exhausted. Seriously. Checking out beach front escapes on VRBO.com. Obsessively. Without any idea of how I could ever afford the money or time.
Then I get the call: "You won the trip!" One of my yoga studios that had held a raffle to raise money for an instructor whose health insurance company dumped her just when she needed them. I bought two tickets in the raffle. I won the yoga retreat to a beach house in South Carolina.
So I went. I did yoga twice a day. I ate vegetarian food most of the day. I read a novel on the deck overlooking the ocean, in between naps. (I haven't read a novel in 5 years? 6 years? Only The Economist and other non-fiction mostly job related...) Closed my eyes and listened to the ocean. I missed my boys, yes. But OMG it was so transformative to have some down time. I cannot remember the last time that really happened (not including when I took a few days off after my dad died last year).
The muscles in my back between my shoulder blades started to loosen just the tiniest bit. They are chronically tight. A massage therapist recently referred to them as "bricks! This is where you hold all your stress."
Yoga weekend reminded me how to let go. I'm afraid of losing that feeling now that I'm back in reality.
Feeling too fat to return to my challenging yoga classes, but I desperately want to be there.